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  1. Dr. Loggins at |

    There is some good stuff in here, but the full topic of the article needs to be better clarified in the lede. In fact, I think the summary you have at the bottom would be a better beginning. As Kevin Devine noted, the lede should tell “the ready what the story is about.” The lede should be a quick summary of what the article will say with very few details. The rest of teh article fills in those details.

    As you work further on this story, try moving the summary to the top and revising it accordingly. As you expend the article, use your quotations to support each statement in the current conclusion.

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