Listening is one of the most important communication skills to help manage conflict. It lets the other person know that you care and are willing to work with them. People want to be listened to and helps to decrease conflict in a situation. If we have an open mind and try to hear their side of the story we can be more receptive to the situation. Listening doesn’t mean that you even agree with the person, but that you are hearing them out. Just by listening and being empathetic, conflict can better be resolved. We also must remember to use mindful nonverbal communication while listening such as eye contact or leaning in.
Everyone has “hot buttons” or triggers that strike them. Sometimes certain statements can really rub the other person wrong. A hot spot that I have would be receiving passive aggressive statements from others. Sometimes the way a person sarcastically comes off just instantly makes the other person mad. People will deliberately try to cause under the radar conflict and offend other people. Sometimes you just must take these comments with a grain of salt. A way to manage conflict could be just to take a deep breath and let it slide right by instead of also making a passive aggressive statement back. If we can learn to use the technique of letting go and not allowing ourselves to instantly get offended, then it makes for a better scenario. By letting go, we can help decrease tension and the use of indirect statements that offend others. I will try to use letting go in the future to help resolve any conflict before I let myself get worked up or angry about the situation.
References
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective strategies to manage conflict at work. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Recognize hot spots to better manage conflict | Alternative resolutions. (2018). Retrieved from https://www.alternativeresolutions.net/2014/02/24/recognize-hot-spots-to-better-manage-conflict/
I know that I personally need to work on listening. I once had a person ask me why do we have two ears and one mouth? Her response was we all need to work on listening more and talking less. The simple power of listening is extremely beneficial not only in conflicts but in all aspects of our lives. I do find listening difficult for me and a skill I could improve. One reason I know that listening is challenging for me is because there is so much going on in our lives, feeling overwhelmed with so many other tasks that need done make it difficult to just take the time to stop and listen. Maybe, listening should be taught in school just like math, reading, etc. Additionally, the ability to let go what you have no control over proves to be beneficial for everyone!
Good point on needing to step back and let some things go. It is so easy to take a comment the wrong way and get upset, which quickly can snowball into conflict. I have definitely found myself taking offense to a comment that wasn’t meant to be rude or confrontational. Letting it go is sometimes the best method, but learning how to effectively deal with communication issues is important too. I think it’s important for everyone to develop different methods manage conflict