As a person, I have always tried to avoid conflict. I do not run from it, but I do what I can to avoid it. As a nurse, however, it is not as easy as patient advocacy is usually at play or something with your coworkers that you cannot avoid. Thankfully in nursing, we are not alone and have other resources available to us if need by (ex: nurse manager, supervisor, etc.). According to Lorraine Segal, listening is one of the best conflict resolution tools that you can use (Khawand, 2014). In my experience, I have also found this to be true. When someone is upset, listening to their problems or angers is more beneficial than ignoring them. After listening, it is easier to come up with a solution to help that individual solve whatever the problem is. Often, people just want to be heard and listened to. They feel so much better after being able to vent their frustrations.
One of my biggest hot buttons as a young, newer nurse is when I hear other older nurses talking about how “young” or “new” I am to patients when they go in to help them with something. When I hear this, it automatically resonates as derogatory to me, saying that I am not able to take care of them the same way that an older nurse would be able to. The first thing I must remind myself to do is to breathe as Segal suggested. Then, I need to learn to sort out why this makes me so angry. I know that I am young and not as experienced as other nurses. That is to be expected. So, I must learn to live in the present and acknowledge that I cannot change those facts, but I can still do my best and show my patients that I am just as competent as the other nurses on the floor.
Reference:
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Hi:
Well said when you stated that a lot of times people just want to vent; after venting they don’t even need an answer or an opinion from the listener to make them feel better.
In regards to senior nurses expressing those thoughts regarding new nurses, I would ask if they don’t remember when they just started without any experience.
I can see how this would bother you. It sounds like it may be the culture of the unit. They have been doing this for so many years that it is the norm. Depending upon your unit and manager, you may want to bring it up to her, or have a little off to the side talk with the nurses that are making those comments. Put it in the perspective of how it looks like to the patient, not so much about how it makes you feel. Something to the effect of, “I want our patients to feel confident at all times that they are in good hands, I’m concerned that pointing out to them that I am a new nurse may not instill that confidence that they need to have in me”.
Just a thought… good luck to you!