One conflict management tool I learned from my workplace is using the acronym “HEAT”:
- Hear them out
- Empathize
- Apologize
- Take action
An example might be:
You are in charge and a coworker is upset that you gave her an assignment that she felt was unfair.
RN staff member – “I took care of Mrs. Smith yesterday and know her better than the other nurse. I am upset that you did not give me her assignment instead.”
You take the HEAT.
You Hear her out without interrupting.
You Empathize and say: “I understand what you are saying, and why you feel that way.”
You Apologize and say: “I apologize for upsetting you.”
You Take action: “In the future, I will look at the assignment from the day before to allow for continuity of care.”
For my “hot button,” I get easily annoyed when someone talks rude to me; for example, when someone uses a tone of voice that I may perceive as sarcastic, disrespectful, or makes me feel incompetent. I had a coworker the other night that hit my “hot button” after she gave me a complicated answer to my very simple question, and afterwards asked me “Do you understand what I’m saying?” in a very condescending tone. I didn’t exactly used the HEAT method, but similarly I listened and didn’t interrupt her, acknowledged her explanation, thanked her, and moved on. Later that shift she and I were totally fine, and no unneeded tension or conflict had arisen from the situation — I recognized what’s true conflict and what’s not. In the future, I will use HEAT method to manage a true conflict if appropriate for the situation.