The most important skill for managing conflict starts within the mind of the individual. If conflict is seen as a normal, natural part of living and working with other human beings, it ceases to become a scary topic. After that, the individual needs to realize that their perceptions are not always correct. Through the lens of the past the individual can perceive something that isn’t there. After that awareness, a person can listen effectively, reminding themselves that their feelings do not equal the truth. They can stop thinking about themselves to truly listen to the needs of the other person and help identify where the communication was misunderstood. So, the communication TOOL would be active listening. However, the calmness to use it relies on some self-awareness before it can truly be successful (Khawand, 2014).
One of my biggest hot buttons especially in leadership is when I am charge nursing and the other nurses whine and complain about assignments, assume that I am “dumping on” a certain person, and state that I am not doing my share of the work. This selfish myopic thinking really pushes my buttons, can you tell? I have restrained myself from speaking because I knew that if I did, I’d most likely be fired. However, not standing up for myself and my position is not good either. I have to think not only of the unit, but the hospital as a whole. Who is most experienced to respond to code blues? What patients are appropriate for an LPN vs. an RN? What patients are relatively self-sufficient if I have to leave the unit and report on them will be minimal? How will they fare if I have to float over to the ICU for an indeterminate amount of time due to patient load or patient transfer? What needs to be done in case of a rapid response? Who is in isolation/reverse isolation and how to distribute them most correctly? Who is the house supervisor, and will they be able to help in case of an adverse event? Where will admissions go, and to whom? How many aids are scheduled? Who is the most likely to be able to handle fewer patients with total care? How will I best be able to help work flow and patient safety?
In the future I will count to 10 and breathe and calmly explain my rationale for the choices that I made. I will realize that the reason for my hot button response is the insinuation that I am lazy and don’t know how to do my job. I realize that I take a lot of pride in my work, but I need to be humble and listen. Perhaps they truly have been dumped on one too many times and that is the reason for their hot button reaction. I then need to listen to their list of grievances to determine if they are valid and could be accommodated. If after that, they have a problem with it, they can take it to the manager. I would document the occurrence for my own records in case it comes up later. Then it’s over with, it’s done. I drop it and move on (Khawand, 2014).
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I often step in as the charge nurse and sometimes it is a thankless job. On top of patient care you are often dealing with ten other things that no one has any idea you are dealing with.I have made a choice to let things sit in my mind for awhile before I react. I think you sound like a great charge nurse and are taking everything in to account for.
Where I work, we don’t get extra pay for being a charge nurse. In fact it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to be one. Usually the person with the most seniority gets to be the charge nurse. However that most senior person often does not want to be the in charge, so I usually take the in charge duties. The in charge has to do menial tasks such as mailing in the staff assignments to the supervisor. As far as getting upset, I try to not let people get to me. I usually try to cover for tasks that other do not want to do. The bonus of that is I get to know my patients better. The negative is I end being the nurse that the patients gravitate to.
There isn’t extra pay here either. It was a one time thing. I am not used to being a charge nurse, unless I have others in the ICU with me (small unit) in which case it is a de facto situation. I’m used to situations with more teamwork. Oh well I have been working on my personal responses a lot and how I think about them. It is possible for a person to be polite, pleasant but firm. The decision stops with me, this is why, and I expect it to be done, for the good of the team. People always have the choice to follow, or complain to a superior. Thanks for your response!
Being charge nurse would be very frustrating on most days; however, as you are well aware of, you will probably always hear grumbling among your co-workers. I think that being able to brush things off is sometimes the best tactic; although, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. Through conflict management, you might be able to make your station clear to someone in the future as long as you redirect them in a professional manner.
A chance to respond came again and I failed. It was sprung on me and I reacted with my anger not very well veiled. I apologized but stood by my rationale, which was also refused. Oh well, you can only do so much. I let it go. Leaders are responsible for the big picture, and not everyone has the mentality of a leader. Most people are only interested in how things effect them personally, and that’s only natural. I cannot force them into a leader mindset, and they cannot force me to quit doing what I have to do. We’ll just have to disagree. It doesn’t have to be a bad conflict unless I put lighter fluid on it. Haha. Thanks for your response.
I have great respect for charges nurses…even the ones that are not the best. There is a huge amount of responsibility in being a charge, and I think that often, RNs do not see this. It takes someone with emotional maturity to be a successful in this postion.
At times though, I do see how RNs become frustrated thinking that they are being dumped on. We had an RN walk out on his patients at one time because he was always given the “harder” patients and finally became fed up. He was a big tall RN and was often given the difficult ETOH patient’s or the combative ALOC males. Yes, frustrating for him and unfortunate for him, but, the right decision on the part of the charge. He was the most appropriate RN for these patients.
In your situation, it sounds like you are doing a great job. Perhaps listening to your RN’s grievances may help as you mentioned, but when it comes down to it…you are the charge and with that needs to come some form of respect from the RNs with whom you oversee at the time. Not blind respect of course… so the question is how to instill respect?
That must really be the hard part about being a male nurse, getting used as a bouncer and lift help. I understand the frustration of getting “type cast” all the time. Perhaps this is why males tend to gravitate toward ER and ICU? Hmm Thanks for bringing this up, it’s interesting.