After reviewing the module YouTube titled “Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work”, address the questions below. Use scholarly writing to assimilate personal experience with knowledge gained through the module material.
- Explain one communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace.
- Identify one of your “hot buttons”. Explain how you would prepare to manage the identified “hot button” in the future using conflict management techniques.
Lorraine Segal points out that whenever a group of people are gathered together for any reason conflicts will occur. The communication skill for me that resonated the most was listening. I feel like I struggle the most with this and that is why it likely jumped out at me. Lorraine points out that listening is a vital component of managing conflict. Segal outlines what listening is:
1.The other person will feel heard.
2.The other person may feel more likely to be open to your perspective. Do your best to understand the other party’s perspective as well and work towards building empathy.
3.Eveyone may be more willing to find solutions to the problems at hand.
4. We must be willing to accept that we may have made a mistake mistakes as well as our own imperfections.
5.We need to maintain a curious and open mind. Which translates to asking curious and open-ended questions.
6.We need to really focus on the present.
7.Not thinking about what you are going to say next but genuinely and actively listening to what the other person is saying.
8. Be a compassionate witness.
9. Use effective non-verbal skills and being mindful of body language such a maintaining eye contact, leaning in and not fidgeting.
What listening is not:
1. Listening doesn’t mean you agree with the other person.
2. Listening does not mean you do what the other person wants
3. It does not mean an immediate solution to the problem is found.
4. Listening does not mean you allow the other person to treat you badly.
A hot button for me is when someone overly questions me. It makes me feel like they either think I am incompetent or lying. I have faced this with managers whose style is more of a micromanager. But like Lorraine said I need to breath. I need to take a step back a see that perhaps they are trying to learn from what I am doing and yes perhaps ensure I am doing a good job. I really liked that Lorraine says if we are all in lock step nothing new would ever be created as no new thoughts or ideas would be produced.
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I also found Lorraine’s advice helpful. I’m trying to become more aware of my body language and non verbal skills. I think its important not to be distracted or trying to multitask when someone is talking to you, which I know is hard to do, especially depending on the area of nursing you work in. But if a patient or family member is upset or need to talk, its important to not be on the computer charting or cleaning up the room. Really sit down at eye level and listen to them. I think that builds trust and rapport. The same goes for coworkers. I know I’ve been frustrated when I speak with my manager or even coworker about an issue and it seems like they aren’t giving me their full attention. Definitely makes me feel like my issues aren’t important.
Questioning is a hot button for me too. Taking a minute to take a breath and address them calmly and without sarcasm is key for me. After listening to the advice Lorraine gave I realized not only do I sometimes respond with sarcasm but my nonverbal cues are not appropriate. I have been working on this since watching the presentation and will continue to.
You are not alone on sarcasm!! I must say the older I get I am trying to be more and more aware of how I perceive situations as perception is not always reality. Also I like how Lorraine points out that not all conflict is bad. But rather an opportunity for learning.
I liked Lorraine’s points about listening and learning to accept the conflict. The hot button that you shared is very similar to the one that I shared as well. I also find it challenging to listen to the questioning as well. When someone belittles me or thinks I am incompetent, I agree that it is frustrating. At these points in time I believe we need to take a step back and look at this big picture. This is when accepting conflict comes into play and not necessarily agreeing with the other party involved but making an agreement to be open to the other point of view. Listen to the opinion whether you agree or not. Once this is established you may come up with a compromise or “agree to disagree.”
Listening is a very big part of communication, and I think that it is a big issue for a lot of people that could use improvement. The hot spot that you mentioned is a hard thing to manage. I do not like to be questioned a lot either. I could see how it would make someone feel like they were being accused of lying.
Listening is one of the skill I struggle with as well. I tend to respond before listening to details .I do agree that this skill is important for conflict resolution.
I agree with you that listening is very important and it can be very difficult to do, but it is so important. People will respond to you differently if you just listen to them!
Lorraine Segal a Certified Management Speaker in the video Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work. Used what she referred to as a conflict tool kit. She uses these tools to improve communication skills. I believe the one most important communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace would be, listen effectively. This tool could be used in a conflict conversation. By not talking and actually listening to your co-worker, manager or patient. Your showing them that you are listening to them. To effectively listen you are also using effective non-verbal and effective body language. These are just a few examples, good eye contact, facing them when they are speaking, don’t roll your eyes and not crossing your arms in front of your torso. If your listening effectively the other person will feel heard. They could be more likely to be open to your perspective. They could also be more willing to find a solutions to the problem. You are giving them your full attention, your giving them the opportunity to speak and respectively be heard.
One of my “hot buttons” that I have identified for myself is, being interrupted. I feel that it’s rude and not necessary. It shows me that you really don’t care what I have to say, both professionally and personally. I believe there is nothing that’s so important that someone needs to be rude. I feel this also affects how this conversation is going to go. This is certainly a hot button and can definitely become a conflict conversation. The way I use to handle this, would be counting to ten and then speaking. This is not a good solution to a conflict conversation. I would be concentrating on counting to ten in my head, that I wouldn’t be listening to the other person. I really like how Ms Segal suggest to take a deep breathe in and then exhale the breathe. As your doing this, your saying to yourself that your breathing in peace and breathing out peace. This way your focusing on what is being said and concentrating on keeping calm during this conversation. I will definitely try this when I’m having a difficult conversation with someone. Ms. Segal also stated some wise words. That we can’t make someone else change. That is a true statement. We can change how we respond. All it takes to change our responses to conflict is, willingness, intention, persistence, practice and support. I feel that anyone can improve their communication skills both professionally and personally.
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved February 7, 2018, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Very true statement that we can’t make someone else change. While it may be frustrating if others don’t agree with us, that doesn’t mean they or we are wrong. I think improving my communication skills will certainly help when it comes to conflict management.
I am with you in that being interrupted is a big hot button, for me I don’t have this problem with any coworkers/physicians but if I did I would feel like they aren’t interested in what I am saying or that they don’t think its important. I took a lot away from Segal when she suggested that you react to what a person says, not what feelings you have to what the person says. Because of this suggestion, I will try to monitor my feelings when I am feeling upset in a conversation.
I think being interrupted is a “hot button” for a lot of us. Like you said it’s just plain rude, not to mention it makes the person who is speaking feel like what they have to say is not important. Although it is very irritating, sometimes I think people do it out of habit with no intention to be rude or disrespectful. Others, who are aware of what they’re doing, are just reflecting who they are as a person and although we can’t change them we can change the way we react to their actions.
I think that your communication skill and your hot button very much compliment each other. If a person is interrupting then they are truly not listening. I had this problem in the past. I always felt like my mind was always running a million miles a minute so I was always interrupting and talking over people. I have since become aware of my problem and I have really worked on it. But I dread meetings, especially if there is going to be discussion of a hot topic. I know there will be a lot of interruption and talking over people. I am proud to say its not me anymore though! But it is hard to sit through.
I totally agree with you that being interrupted can be a “hot button!” Nothing is more irritating than someone that continuously interrupts or continuously talks and doesn’t let you get a word in the conversation. I think your technique of counting to ten was a very effective technique, however I do see how you would be concentrating so hard on trying to calm down and counting to ten, where you would miss some of the conversation. That, in turn, could potentially cause more conflict if the other person felt like you weren’t listening. I also liked the statement where we can’t change others, only ourselves. That is something I try to work on all of the time, whether it be personally or professionally.
I agree that being interrupted is a hot button for me too. It is very rude and it makes a person feel that the other person is not interested in what they have to say, and invalidates their point they are trying to make.
I also dislike being interrupted. Wait until I finish, then ask the questions. Often, I have what you’re asking already planned into what I’m saying, I just haven’t got to it yet. Maybe it’s because I’m old, but I was always taught it is rude to interrupt someone when they’re speaking. Interrupting also tells me that the person isn’t really listening to me, they are to busy thinking of what they want to say.
The fact that the speaker made it understood that change is possible even though it takes time give some hope. Trying to change someone else just results in more conflict but I feel by working on oneself weakness results in self maturity and peace.
Lorraine Segal’s views on conflict management is that there is always going to be conflict whenever there is groups of people gathered together. We have to accept that conflict is a part of our society. Not all conflict is bad, some of it is good. We are more use to the emotional conflict, the pointing of fingers and name calling. But creative conflict is a good thing to build a stronger system. Listening is a powerful tool because that really is what people want is just to be heard. A good listening does not fidget, holds eye contact, and makes it known that they are only focusing on then at that time. The listener has to manage their emotions. Do not take accusations and make or assume that it is fact. The person does not always know that they are creating these types of emotions. Look at what is and isn’t your part. Do not take credit for something that is not directed at you, do not take accusations personally or make them about you if it is not. And finally let go. Let go of past conflict and hard feelings, start again. Start fresh and with our negative thoughts.
I think that I personally have the hardest time with letting my emotions show when there is conflict. According to Lorraine I have to hold back and figure out why accusations make me feel the way that they do. Do not let someone else’s accusations be validated by my emotions and reactions to the conflict, instead I need to take a step back, breath, and look at the real issue. Do not assume that someone is talking about you directly, or that they are purposefully trying to make you feel the way that you are feeling when in the mist of the conflict.
One of my “hot buttons” would be people that are disrespectful and rude during conversation. I dislike being cut off and talked over when someone else thinks that they have a better idea. I prefer to speak with people in turns, and to make everyone feel validated and valued by using effective listening as described above.
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved February 7, 2018, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I enjoyed your statement, “Do not take credit for something that is not directed at you, do not take accusations personally or make them about you if it’s not.” I think this is something everyone needs to continue to tell themselves. This is why Lorraine explained that listening was so important, because we all want to be heard. It is good to acknowledge our hot buttons, so when this does happen in situations we are able to address the problem right away.
I also found her discussion on creative conflict interesting and important. She states how we all “cannot be in lock step and create new ideas”. Conflict can be hard, even when a positive outcome results. However we must learn to navigate through conflict better and hone our own skills regarding conflict to make it as productive as possible.
One thing that really caught my attention was “let go”. I put this style into my management skill from my faith, being a minister in my church, but for the speaker to mention it as part of conflict resolution skill surprises me.
Olayemi Adio
NURS449
One communication skill mentioned by Lorraine that has been effective in my own life as a leader is to “let go” / forgiveness. Not letting go make it difficult to act in the present. It can prevent a leader from not giving a follower a second chance to better person, it can make a leader to begin to take sides against an employee that has done wrong in the past. The ability to forgive allows the leader to be impartial and correct in love, this give followers confidence in the leader.
This communication skill has made me successful as Director of Nursing for almost 3 years. When I joined the organizations there were a lot of fractions and little groups with each one speaking badly of the other group and seeking for a particular management member to support it. The stronger group then depends on the position of the management member that supports the group. As a new Director of Nursing, this was one thing that I discouraged. I immediately rebuke any gossip, address it openly and operate on open policy principle. After addressing issue I move on from there not holding anything against anyone.
One hot button that I have noticed that I have is when someone lies against me, it gets me going. The communication skill that I think I need to work harder on is “listening”, I think ahead when someone is talking or reply before the person is done talking. Listening is a good communication skill that I can use in future to address this hot spot.
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Per Raines, S. (2013) assets Conflict is neither inherently positive nor negative. Instead, it is our reaction to conflict that determines whether it is constructive or destructive. Let go works in dealing even with lying nurses and interesting some nurses attempt to so villainous at the work place use all means to get ahead even lie/”throw others under the bus”. Letting go and making sure the truth is represented works best in dealing with such nurses.
References
Raines, S. (2013). Conflict management for managers resolving workplace, client, and policy disputes (1st ed., Jossey-Bass business & management series). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
I would like to work for you! It is so important to let things go and also to shut down the gossip when it comes up. I think these things can easily destroy a unit and cause such monstrous barriers between coworkers.
I also tend to think ahead and am trying to work on that. I know I appreciate it when people slow down and actually listen to me, I feel like giving them the same respect will earn its return to me.
Letting go is so very hard. But you are absolutely right. While it is true for everyone, it is especially true for someone in a leadership/managerial role to have the ability to let the past go so they can be in the present and give second chances. We have all been in a position at some point in our life where a second chance was needed. To extend that to others is a true gift.
One communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace is listening. According to Lorraine Segal (Khawand, 2014), “listening is the most powerful tool to resolve conflict.” Segal (Khawand, 2014) states that if you listen effectively, the other person will feel heard. She also states that if you listen, the other person will more likely be open to your perspective of things and be more willing to find solutions to your problems (Khawand, 2014). Listening will improve your workplace environment. It helps others feel respected and cared for. It can promote effective communication, improve work relationships, and help lessen misunderstandings.
One of my “hot buttons” is having “cliques” at the workplace. These are the little groups who talk about others behind their back if they’re not in their little “clique”. The way I would prepare to manage this in the future using conflict management techniques is to be a good model by not participating in talking about others behind their backs. I already try to be friends with everyone at my work, I don’t take sides, I ignore others or change the subject when they aren’t talking nice about someone. And if needed I will address the issue with the clique and try to work things out through open communication and listening.
Reference: Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I think Segal had a lot of great advice for managers and nurses. It would be frustrating to work in an environment with “cliques”. If this was a concern for a work environment, I think taking Segal’s recommendations and showing them to the staff would be beneficial for the health of the work environment as well as could improve patient care as nurses would work better together. Their will always be types of people that don’t see eye-to-eye or think differently, but taking care of the patient would be first priority. I think the information Segal provides would reinstate that for a divided unit/clinic.
It is so important to all work together. It is no doubt “cliques” at work would make it difficult to function as a team. If everyone works as a team, patient care becomes the main priority and in turn better patient care is given. All the information given by Lorraine would make the common work place a better environment to work in!
Cliques in the workplace can be very disrupting and often lead to a hostile work environment. Most of the time when these people are gossiping they aren’t doing their jobs so it affects their job performance. For the people that are being talked about, it can almost feel like a form of bullying and make it uncomfortable to be at work with the other people. I feel like the best thing to do in this situation is to ignore these people, as giving in to their gossip only encourages them.
Cliques at work would definitely be a hot button of mine. I experienced that at my first job right out of nursing school. It was so hard working in an environment where I felt like people were judging me and talking about me behind my back! Thankfully, that doesn’t happen any longer at my new position. We work great as a team and always have each others’ backs!
I never really thought of the “clique” issue at work, but this too I agree is a common problem among many workplaces. Often times this cliques are upper management or leaders of the team as well. This is when open communication needs to be brought up and the leadership role of speaking up and others being open to listen. Accepting others opinions if you are the one in the “clique” is very important as well. It may make you or another person uncomfortable but the opinion needs to be taken into consideration and others should have an open mind.
cliques are the bane of my existence! I do believe that nursing seems to be the most gossipy, back biting bunch of people I’ve ever me. I find it ironic that while as a profession, we all say we support teamwork, collaboration, helping each other for the good of the patient, in truth we often seem to be only concerned with making ourselves look good and minimizing others.
Lorraine Segal gave 5 tips for helping manage conflict in the workplace. The tip that was most beneficial to me was “Let Go”. To help manage the conflict Segal recommends to stop holding on to the past, let go of bad stories or resentments, and let go of what could have been (Khawand, 2014). This is a great tip for conflict management, if you think about some of the situations that you have dealt with, how many have been about something that happened in the past. If we can learn to move past these things this will help with decreasing the instances of conflict.
One of my hot buttons is telling me what you think I want to hear, but having no intention of following through with it. When I have meetings with fellow leaders in the building, people that I oversee on the quality team, or when I am working the floor. If I ask you a question or challenge you on something, I don’t want you to just tell me the answer you think I am looking for, and as soon I walk away that is the end of whatever it is you were asked to do. If it wasn’t important or I didn’t want to know about it then I wouldn’t have brought the topic up to you. I find that when someone realizes they can get away with doing this to you once they will just keep on doing it over and over again. When you call that person out on it, if there is nothing holding them accountable then they don’t care to change their ways.
Reference: Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I agree with your statement about letting go. There has been many situations at my current job where once something negative happens it seems like there is never a resolution. The person who is suppose to be in charge of helping the negative conflicts resolve does a very poor job of this. There is constantly something that brings up these negative topics and we revisit them frequently. Another thing about conflict management is sticky note management. We are made aware of many things by sticky note in the staff bathroom. In my opinion this is a very poor way to allow communication.
Explain one communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace.
Effective listening is a skill that is underutilized in conflict management. In my experience I have witnessed nurses escalating conflict to the point of assault. Some nursing practice environment are very stressful and demanding. That coupled with the long hours some nurses work is a recipe for conflict. I imagine a super tired nurse that can never be wrong that explodes when confronted with a situation that she feels is witch hunting in nature.
Listening allows critical analysis of voice, tone, mode, depth that play a part in highlighting when a confrontation is eminent. Mostly most misunderstanding come from not listening, jumping into conclusion and assuming.
Most psych nurses train in deescalating techniques where the aggressive patient is approached in a calm manner and listened to. Moreover, listening allows to hear both sides of a conflict that is crucial in painting the conflict in a way it can be solved
Per Raines, S. (2013) assets Conflict is neither inherently positive nor negative. Instead, it is our reaction to conflict that determines whether it is constructive or destructive. Conflict presents an opportunity for positive change, deepening relationships, and problem solving. How you treat the other party or parties in conflict is highly predictive of the strength and duration of the relationship in the future. (pg. 6)
Identify one of your “hot buttons”. Explain how you would prepare to manage the identified “hot button” in the future using conflict management techniques.
My “hot button” dealing with lazy coworkers that lie about incomplete tasks that they didn’t do. That gets me at times boiling in cases that the patient is likely to be compromised by such. Most setting have created buffers in managing care effectively but some lag behind and some coworkers use such lax to get by do nothing but transfer insidiously to next shift.
As much as we are in a competitive culture, collaboration is the key to ensuring that best care possible is provided to patients. Nursing it’s not a “I am the only captain of this ship” profession. I believe by adequate collaboration and not avoidance creates the environment that allows and fosters spotting weaknesses and building to a level of strength and my part is to ensure am confident to approach such nurses and express my concerns in a pragmatic way
References
Raines, S. (2013). Conflict management for managers resolving workplace, client, and policy disputes (1st ed., Jossey-Bass business & management series). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Lorraine Segal says that one of the communication tactics in conflict management is to “switch from blame to contribution.” She says that instead of blaming someone, look at your part in the situation and what you can do differently because you can’t change the other person, but you can control yourself and your own reaction to the situation. The way that YOU react to the situation could have a huge impact on the conflict resolution.
One of my “hot buttons” is when you are busy in a shift and don’t get something done and the nurse following you belittles you and makes you feel like you are lazy and the worst nurse ever. I have done stuff or “cleaned up” for the nurse before me many times and I feel like as long as the patient is taken care of that is all that matters. We are a team and it happens to everyone that you get busy and something that you planned to do didn’t get done. Nurses should work together to get stuff done and patients taken care of.
Reference:
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved February 10, 2018 , from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
This ‘switch to contribution, not blame’ concept was very key to me during this video also. Its so much easier to put the blame on people instead of changing things about ourselves. But the negativity of blame can drag us down so much more then the original conflict anyways. I try to preach this to my husband even about every day life. He complains about the neighbor.. I say well what can YOU do because you know he is not going to change. Nor can you change people. It really helps keep things in perspective and the negativity isn’t as deep.
Suzanne,
I am so glad that you brought up concept of “switch from blame to contribution” because I agree that it is SO very important. I played sports all of my life and have coached many times now that my career is over, but one of the life mottos that I was taught is “control what you can control. Your attitude and effort are 2 of the things within your control”. This has been one of the greatest life lessons that my parents and coaches have ingrained in me. This is true with any conflict situations at work and in personal life. During situations of conflict, it is important to try and take a step back from the situation, view contribution from both sides and see what you did to contribute and what you can do to prevent any similar problems from reoccurring. Also, the hot button of belittling by the next nurse, I have experienced this many times, as a lot of the day shift nurses at my place of work have the idea that night nurses are never busy and they sit around all the time so there is no excuse to not have everything done. My view is that we all work for the same institution, we all have the same goals of helping patients in their time of need and creating a livelihood for ourselves, so why tear down your teammates? This is something that I try to lead by example to extinguish. I think that’s a huge part of the nursing shortage also: new nurses come in to the workforce or students come to the workplace for clinicals and the floor nurses snap at them, don’t help them when they request it and “let them drown” to learn how to “sink or swim” on their own. When I was in school I was told that nurses “eat their young” and I agree that a large amount of our profession do this. In order to create a cohesive, inviting and profitable workforce to meet the needs that we have, we have to put more emphasis on teamwork and prevent hostility. Thanks for your post!
Thanks for your thoughts!! I wish more people would see it that way!! We are all on the same team and want the same things for our patients.
1.Explain one communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace.
As explained by Lorraine Segal, listening is one of the most important tools to have in your “conflict management tool kit”. (Khawand, 2014) She explains two things that help with listening include “willingness to accept our own mistakes and imperfections and keeping an open, curious mind” to help suppress emotions and irrational feelings in times of conflict. (Khawand, 2014) She continues by explaining some myths that may deter people from using listening as one of their conflict management tools and defines good listening techniques, including staying in the present and asking open ended questions which may regard your frustrations within the situation. Maintaining positive, open body language is another successful technique as well as remaining compassionate about how the other person is feeling in the situation. I personally feel that listening and remaining open minded is the most important tool to utilize when in a conflict.
2.Identify one of your “hot buttons”. Explain how you would prepare to manage the identified “hot button” in the future using conflict management techniques.
One of my most frustrating “hot buttons” or emotional triggers is assumptions within conflict scenarios or assumptions that cause conflict. Though this is something that really frustrates me, I have done it on numerous occasions to others. I tend to think of the small saying that I’m sure you all are aware of (pardon the language) “You know what assuming does, makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”” any time that I catch myself assuming something or someone assumes something about me which causes conflict. In these situations, I could utilize the techniques that Lorraine states as “switch from blame to contribution” and realize that we can’t make someone else change.(Khawand, 2014) When there is an instance where I have conflict with someone based on an assumption they have made, I could start by using active listening to hear their side of the story and what they heard that caused them to make the assumption. During that time, I need to remember the key management tools which Lorraine talks about, such as switching the blame to contribution and think about how I could have impacted the situation, how I can do things differently in similar situations to eliminate another situation like this occur and have compassion for the other person’s side of the story. (Khawand, 2014) My school counselor left a mark on me when it comes to addressing conflict, as she told us that when we are attempting to manage a conflict, do not use the words “you” or “your” as they will immediately place the other person in “defense mode” and will exacerbate the situation. She stated that we need to phrase things from our point of view to paint a picture of the impact you are feeling to the other person. I take this to every situation that I encounter. Breathing is a tool that I use on many occasions as well: frustration, conflict, anxiety, depression. This is a technique that I utilize during conflict management regularly. The final tool that Lorraine speaks of is letting go.(Khawand, 2014) This is something that I do have a hard time with, no matter how often I tell myself that I do need to let the situation go. I am a grudge holder, not necessarily out in the open, but it burns deeply inside me during recurrent situations. I don’t have a difficult time in the situation to say, “let’s move on, it’s okay, let’s keep going”, but I have a hard time erasing them from my memory, as well as the emotions that came with them. This is something that I need to continue to work on. I feel that identifying that you have a problem or that you have something that you need to work on correcting about yourself is the first step to improvement. I appreciated everything that Ms. Segal taught in the video and will attempt to utilize the conflict resolution tools that she gave.
References
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I agree that making assumptions is very frusterating!! I am always preaching it to my kids and finding myself making assumptions as well, especially when it comes to my kids. I think everyone does it whether they mean to or not, but people need to really listen to the other person, understand what they are saying and then go from there.
One of the most powerful communication skills is listening. Lorraine Segal identifies how important it is to be an effective listener. According to her, effective listening will make the other person feel heard, be more likely to be open to your perspective, and be more willing to find solutions to problems. I think there is a difference between listening to someone and hearing someone. Hearing someone to me is strictly auditory. Listening means you are keyed in on the conversation and paying attention to the person’s words and emotions. It means really thinking about what that person is saying and trying to understand them. One obstacle I face at work from time to time is really listening to others (be it patients, families, or coworkers) when we are extremely busy. It’s easy to hear a family member or patient complain about the wait time or something out of your control and reply to them with a generic answer. But when I am actually listening to their frustrations and being active in the conversation I think that shows empathy and I’m able to build a better rapport.
A “hot button” for me is blame. When trying to resolve a conflict, it’s irritating to hear everyone just sit around placing blame. While there may be someone or something in specific at fault, pointing that out repeatedly and complaining is not going to solve anything. I was once required to attend weekly meetings where thats what it basically was. Everyone sat around complaining and blaming everyone else for problems or issues in the department. It’s a waste of time and energy. All of that time and energy could have and should have been spent being thinking of constructive ways to improve the situation.
Reference: Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved February 10, 2018 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I agree with your statements about blame. It doesn’t serve any purpose to spend time trying to find someone or something to blame. It takes away from finding ways to solve problems.
It’s very immature and when someone spends so much energy focusing blame on others, it makes me question their integrity and work ethic. Nurses should work together and help each other when we notice someone is not doing something right.
Placing blame is a very sore subject for me as well. I personally love constructive criticism, but when people get together and we start to discuss the way things are done, I do not feel like that is also an opportunity to sit around placing blame on specific people for doing things a way that everyone else believes is wrong. If I am doing something wrong and multiple people feel that way, it should be brought to my attention in a professional way. Such as pulling me aside and having an open conversation regarding the matter.
I agree. If I am doing something wrong I would like to know so I can correct my actions. But playing the blame game gets us no where. Nurses need to have each others’ backs. Especially when it feels like administration and high ups don’t.
1. Per Lorraine Segal, she gave the quick toolkit for conflict. Accept conflict, listen effectively, manage your emotions, look at what is and isn’t your part and letting go. One the most important communication skills for management of conflict is that of listening effectively. If you are listening effectively, the other person will feel heard. They are more likely to be open to your perspective and willing to find solutions to problems. Segal also discussed what helps us listen. The willingness of accept our own mistakes and imperfections. You need to be curious, compassionate witness, ask open-minded questions, and use effective non-verbal (Khwand).
2. One of my “hot buttons” involves lazy nurses. I have a hard time with nurses who tend to always be sitting in the breakroom on their phone, at the computer looking things up on the internet, and those that you can never find when help is needed. It tends to be the same nurses. They never offer to help when others are busy. They are the ones that leave work early or on-time at the end of the shift. Unfortunately, since they aren’t willing to offer help when needed, they are never asked to help by others. I would rather just do things myself, because then I know that the task was completed fully. I try to manage my emotions, but at times that becomes very difficult. The skill of “letting go” is more of what is practiced. I know who I can and cannot ask for help when it is needed. I will also offer help to my co-workers whenever I am asked or when I see they are needing help.
Khawand, P. (2014). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Hi there,
I agree with you that listening is one of the most important communication skills for management of conflict. Lorraine Segal (2014) states that listening is “the most powerful took to resolve conflict.” Being a good listener can make us better leaders in nursing.
Your hot button is one of mine too. What you described happens at my work all the time, unfortunately. I’m the same way too, I rarely ask for help because I know if I do it, it’ll get done. One of the rare times I asked a CNA to change the linen on a patient’s bed because I was so busy, I got the reply “I don’t know if you’re really busy or if you just don’t want to do it”, this was while she was sitting at the computer talking about weddings with another nurse. Oh my gosh, made me so mad! I rarely ask them for help!
Great post!
Maggie
Reference: Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
It is so frustrating. I am very lucky that the techs that we have are good and willing to help out if needed. They are proactive and will do things without being asked. I think it is because the area they are working in is better than some of the other units in the hospital. It is sad that your CNA thinks that it isn’t important to do her job.
Explain one communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace.
Listening is one of the most powerful communications skills for managing conflict in the workplace. As explained by Conflict Management Coach, Lorraine Segal, listening helps us get a better understanding of the other person’s perspective and reasoning. Effective listening helps the other person feel heard and often makes them more willing to find solutions to problems. Listening doesn’t mean that you agree with what the other person is saying, it is simply a way to gain better understanding of the situation.
Identify one of your “hot buttons”. Explain how you would prepare to manage the identified “hot button” in the future using conflict management techniques.
One of my “hot buttons” would definitely have to be when coworkers consistently “pass the buck”. I understand that as nurses we are always busy and that things tend to come up and we often fall behind during our shift. Most people stay late until all their tasks are done but then there are those who simply pass on their work because they don’t want to do it, and that’s when it gets me worked up. When it happens consistently, it definitely adds more stress to my day and irritates me for the remainder of the shift. To manage my identified “hot button” in the future I’ll just practice my breathing as it was shown in the video. Listening to the other person’s reasons for passing on tasks might also be helpful.
References
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved February 10, 2018 , from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
I think you’re on track with listening to the reasons behind passing on tasks from the previous shift. It can be frustrating having to do all your own work plus finishing up another nurse’s work, but there might be a valid reason. It’s true that some nurses are simply lazy, but it’s worth investigating. There may be a new nurse, or an inexperienced nurse, who just doesn’t feel comfortable with certain tasks and needs more training. It might be that the nurse is too embarrassed to ask for help, so she routinely passes on the tasks that she is uncomfortable with.
I can definitely understand your frustrations with the off going shift leaving tasks behind, especially if is a chronic issue. It makes a stressful way to start your shift and has the ability to make your mood negative. Talking to those who constantly do this with active listening could help to pinpoint the problem and then a solution could be implemented. It could just be an issue of the nurse just not wanting to complete the task, but also could be a situation where the nurse is not confident in the task and needs further education to be comfortable completing the task. Using breathing techniques to help manage the stress of this situation would be a good way to prepare to approach the situation.
I agree that “passing the buck” would be a hot button! We have had that issue on my unit between day and night shift. Generally it would be the night shifters stating they “couldn’t” do something and would pass it on to the day shift. That caused a lot of tension between the shifts. Our unit manager implemented a policy where every order had to be completed on the shift the order was given. For example, if a UA was ordered on day shift, the day shift nurse would be responsible for obtaining that UA, whether the patient was able to void of if they had to straight cath the patient. This way, orders are being completed in a timely manner and nurses aren’t able to “pass the buck” any longer.
One communication skill for managing conflict in the workplace that Segal discussed is active listening. Active listening is characterized by using appropriate body language by making eye contact and not fidgeting, listening with an open mind and not trying to formulate a response until the other person has finished talking, and focusing on what the person is saying (Khawand, 2014). These actions of effectively actively listening help to foster respect and trust.
One of my “hot buttons” is having an important conversation with someone and they cut me off and start talking to someone else. I find this extremely disrespectful. It usually happens during report time and then it ends up delaying me getting to leave on time because they aren’t fully listening to me either so I’m having to repeat myself multiple times and answer questions that I have already addressed. I think a way to address this issue would be to sit down with this person and discuss my concerns with active listening.
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
That used to be a “hot” button of mine too. It seems like when others seen me sitting down, regardless of what I was doing, they felt it was an opportunity to talk. I can honestly say that after talking privately to one certain associate three time’s, that it has gone better. This associate now waits outside my office until I am done in the current conversation. Good luck as it normally takes more than one attempt for your voice to be heard.
I’ve never thought about it directly but it does annoy me when I’m trying to discuss something and the other person keeps getting distracted. The “active” listening is a vital part of the communication process. It’s easy to prioritize other tasks over listening but sometimes a pause to communicate is just as important.
Lorraine Segal tells us about effective strategies that can be useful for managing conflict in the workplace. She explained that in some situations you just have to let it go. This can be difficult to do at times, especially when one of the “hot buttons” have been hit. My biggest “hot button” would be being talked down to. Although I control my emotions well when I am in a professional situation, I can not say the same in a personal conflict. My emotions get the best of me and I don’t always handle things like I should. I know that even when faced with personal conflict, I have to take a moment and breathe. My mother taught me that it isn’t possible to sing without breathing. So, when you need to take a little time to breathe, sing, and sing it loud. “Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore.”
Reference
Khawand, P. (2014, June 06). Effective Strategies to Manage Conflict at Work [Video File]. Retrieved May 25, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_n-QGwh-E
Being talked down to is never a pleasant experience, especially in a setting where everyone should be respectful and professional. When people talk down to other people, it is disrespectful and does not foster a healthy collaborative environment. It is easy to take it personally when this type of behavior occurs because it feels like a personal attack. The best way to approach this is to do just what you do, take a breath, and brush it off. If it continues to happen and the environment becomes too hostile, talking to the person and using active listening to find out the root of why they are behaving this way may be necessary to remedy the problem.