2 Responses

  1. Russell Heitmann at |

    Good lede with good information. The wording can be tightened up a bit to get rid of some extra words, but it served as a nice set up for the story.

    Good use of links

    Quote set up doesn’t need to be in first person, you can usually set it up with paraphrased info from the interviewee or background information. Especially if it is a long quote, you can pull the best part of the quote for the direct quote and use the rest as background. For example

    Matt Isley of Dangerously Biased said previous events such as Relay for Life and his connections with members of the American Cancer Society helped bring Songs for Hope to fruition.

    “When the COVID pandemic struck, in-person fundraisers were unable to take place, so there has been a huge hit in funding for organizations like the ACS,” Isley said. “My friends in the Ellis County Relay For Life contacted me about helping organize a virtual event (Songs For Hope: Battle Of The Bands), and I was excited to get some artists together.”

    This introduces Matt, sets up how he knows what is going on while also shortening the quote paragraph.

    You also can do this with the quotes from the other musicians to avoid doing quote lists.

    Fellow member of Dangerously Biased, Sophie Thompson (drums/vocals) said it was nice to be a part of something bigger than music.

    “Quote from Sophie”

    And the same with the others. That way the story flows without turning into a list

    Then you do a good job of leaving all the info on the bands at the end, well done there and good use of links once again

    You have a great start here on your style, structure, and technique. Keep up the good work and I look forward to more good work from you.

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